


constipation hour (aka the adventures at yumenosuckie)

by MlTSUBA



Category: Ensemble Stars, enstars
Genre: Crack, Gen, absolute absurdity, crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-01-26 16:35:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21377167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlTSUBA/pseuds/MlTSUBA
Summary: using my small knowledge of enstars, i have made this horrible creation solely just to spite my friend.i apologize in advance for the absolute absurdity. but i also dont.A/N: I updated the rating from Teen and up to Mature because some language and also what the actual fuck is going on in this story. But nothing SUPER bad lol. It’s a crackfic.
Relationships: mademoiselle/toilet
Kudos: 10





	1. mademoiselle takes a honking SHIT

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gay Ocelot. fucking kinners...](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Gay+Ocelot.+fucking+kinners...).

> i dt this chapter to mikapop.

It was another normal day at Yumenosuckieguakrenrnkdfns whatever the fuck your stupid fucking school is called. Shu Itsuki the sexy tall string bean man himself cradled Mademoiselle in his lanky raw chicken-esque arms as he stared out the window thinking about some dumb shu-type shit like um. i dont know. whatever croissant he planned to stick his dick in next. something like that. "hon hon" he chuckled like a sexy french man. cause thats what french people do. i would know i speka like 6 words infrench. Then he turned to mademoiselle, quirking one of his very thinly plucked eyebrows that probably look like what mariah carey would look like had she been a hair ass caterpillar. 

"Wjhat seems to be the matter my vevry lovely mademoiselle?"

"Shu i gogta take a big fat shit and your arm by my dummy thick asscheeks is not hewlping"

Well that was surely inconvenient. Shu had then decided to help MAdemoiselle out, given that she is very precious to him because he has some weir dfascination with pretty dolls especially mademoiselle. cos hes gay and stupid. "Alright, mademoiselle. I will lead you to the closest bathroom." so they ventured into the hallway wgeerethey foudn mika. "nNGAH-- where ya goin?" mika meowed coz hes also gay and stupid but this time hes gay stupid and POOR. fucking poor people. "It is non of ur business kagehira, now go back to working or something you FAILURE." Shu brushed past him with an aggressive air kiss becoz they are gay or something. "okay" mika went along with it, proceeding wiuth whaevre the fuck he was doing. "this is why you;re in poverty" shu sighhed as he continued down the hallway. He turned the corner and ran into Koga who seemed to be aggressively yelling into the phone. 

"YOURE A FUCKING *f slur* YOU *r slur*" He shouted

"Watch your fucking language you furry" Shu warned, tired of kogas daily bullshit. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GAY ASS CUNT BULLYING VINCENT IS PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINE." its true. the author of this story is harrassed by koga daily and blogs about it at https://fuckingk0ga.tumblr.com and koga can die mad, the little bitch ass motherfucking cunt pussy licking loser bitch little bastard i will run him over with my car. Shu just rolled his ass and proceeded. 

Because shu is a twig carrying a dummy thick ass queen like mademoiselle, mademoiselles asscheeks clapped loudly in the empty halls like crashing cymbals of a drum in a band. As they reached the bathroom, shu entered the mens room because yumenossuckie guakejrefuens ewehtevr the fucking school name is again has an idol course only for MEN therefore only have men bathrooms. THough Arashi once pulled a power move and said "im paving the way for women in this fucking industry anf if that requires pissing outside the mens room to let staff know to make a fucking womens room then so be it." because she is God. Entering the bathroom, Mademoiselle let a FAT JUICY ONE RIP. "Girl you fukcing REEK" Shu retched. "I didn;t fucking ask your bitch ass did i? now help me hover over a shitter so i can release these fat little honkers from my ASS HOLE." So shu helped her into a stall and looked the other way because it is respectful to do that. Mademoiselle HHNNGGGed and AAAGGHHHHed her way into heavy droplets plopping into the toilet bowl like bombs from an aircraft. they were just as effective as well, stinking up the whole bathroom and making shu pass out.

Blinking his eyes awake, shu sat up in the nurses office, mika by his side. because these two are literally fucking inseperable for some reason i fuckignfs h HATRE GAY PEO:EL GO FUCKING DIE jsut kidding. Shu quirked an eyebrow, confused. "What happened?" "NNGAH *weird fucking mika noises* 'm not sure? people said they found ya in th bathroom passed out with mademoiselle... All I know is they brought ya to th nurses office an' I wanted ta make sure ya were okay?" mika fucking said. "Hm. I see." "HAvw you been neglecting your health again ?" He heard, and turned to the doorway to see Kuro and his fat juicy inflated man jugs standing at the doorway. "I have been taking care of myself just fine, you human epitome of a blimp." kuro walked over. "Then why did you pass out?" Shu turned his head to mademoiselle, who mika held in his little homeless pussy arms. "I'm sorry, Shu. I took such a fat dump that it must've been so retched and disgusting that your puny human nose could not handle the radioactive turd droplings my precious honking fat nicki minaj anaconda ass excretes. It truly is my bad, and I am deeply sorry. I hope you are not hurt." SHe apologized. Shu refused to repeat that, so he said "I'm not sure." and then nodded to mademoiselle........ 

LAter that day him and mademoiselle had a talk about how to go about the shitting routine.

"I accept your apology but god damn what the fuck you storing in your caboose mademoiselle? a rotting fucking corpse?"


	2. Eichi at Therapy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eichi gets bullied at therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t even intended to be a chapter, this is deadass a whole text message I just copy-pasted into AO3. IM SERIOUS.

“Y/n,” he begins calmly. My eyes drift to him from the other side of the sharing circle. “Eichi,” I greet, nodding my head. He’s staring at me with these eyes of intensity, and yet he somehow wills his body to remain as calm and collected as ever. Or perhaps he’s just too weak to show his frustration with me. Regardless, it’s a split second of tensing up and clutching his fist that I see before he smiles politely back at me. “Do you mind sharing something else?” He asks cooly. I blink twice, my eyes wide and innocent. “Why would I do that? Do you not like what I have to share with everyone?” I ask, knowing full and well he’s growing more and more impatient with me and my behavior. In all honesty, it’s somewhat amusing. Watching him slowly lose his cool- It’s like... I don’t know. I can’t think of a good or humorous analogy to compare. Just laugh like this is funny. Cooperate with me here, please. “I would rather you NOT tell everyone about how ‘knobby my fragile little skele-knees’ are.” He glares at me with his eyes, and the whole circle turns to stare at me. “But I thought it was funny how you collapse down the stairs like a jenga tower with the wrong wooden piece being pulled out.” “That’s not necessary to share-“ the therapist cuts in, trying to end the argument before it even begins. “He folded like a whole lawn chair,” we all hear from the doorway. We turn our heads to meet the special sight of raw chicken French man, Shu Itsuki. Of course he comes to my rescue; Those who cry to Dernière Danse together, stay together. Or something like that. I can’t finish writing this for the sole sake of being humorous. The joke has gone stale. Like bread left out on the counter with the bag open for too long. You let the air get to it before you could. I’m sorry I’ve let you down. Kind of like how eichi went down the stairs like a slinky. HEYYOOO.

My humor.

I’m hilarious.

I was trying to get to the part where he asks where I’ve been and I say “out,” and then he tries to knock me out for the sole sake of comedy but instead passes out from exertion and I go “now you’re really out” but I don’t think I have it in me to go through with my joke like that when I’ve already typed so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend asks>> WHY DID U TAKE THE TOME TO WRITE THAT
> 
> My response: I have nothing better to do  
Me: also comedy is my passion


End file.
